A few minutes ago I extended my to-do list to two pages, while changing a hard drive I hit my water bottle on my desk with my elbow and that open bottle fell, touched the full coffee cup and everything around my desk was covered in 2 liters of Vittel and a coffee with milk.

In those moments I sit down, I cover my eyes with my hands and wish I were somewhere else. I remember one of those quiet moments where there was no to-do list and everything was perfect. A moment where we were together and he held me tight, kissed me on the cheek and whispered something like „everything is gonna be alright“ into my ear. I swallow that burning stone in my throat that builds up right before my eyes fill with tears. „Everything is gonna be alright…even today“, I tell myself.

I open my eyes and see the water dropping from my desk. I shake my head, frustrated about my own clumsiness and stand up to get a towel and clean up the mess.

Thanks a photographer friend was present to capture one of these silent moments between Conrad and me this March in Heidelberg. It makes me remember not all days start with a spilled coffee on my desk.

picture taken by Justin & Mary Marantz (as I obvisously have my eyes closed on this picture I am not sure who of them took it ;-) )